vidám dal

ja és tegnap volt a harmincegyedik szülinapom.

tervezgettem egy bejegyzést arról, hogy mennyire jó nekem, hogy fiatalabb vagyok mint az elmúlt években bármikor, egészséges és szép és nyugodt, és mennyire szeretve vagyok, és mennyire szép órát kaptam*, meg komposztálót, és hogy az se zavar, hogy kiderült hogy csak adoptálva lettem**, és teli vagyok ötletekkel, és tervekkel, szóval minden nagyon okés.

de inkább idegbetegen sütöttem hogy dicsekedhessek a tehetségemmel, teljesen túlvállalva magam, utálva wmet amiért ő csak hever és gépezik, mindeközben szép lassan kivéreztem, meg ilyesmik.

ezért nem lett meg a bejegyzés ami arról szól hogy én.

de ehelyett küldöm ezt a dalt nekem, mert nagyon szeretem magam, emlékeztetőül, meg ajándéknak.



In my mind
In a future five years from now
I'm a hundred and twenty pounds
And I never get hungover
Because I
Will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I'm in
And I will be someone I admire
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how
To see
That I'm not exactly the person that I thought I'd be.

And in my mind
In the far-away here-and-now
I've become in-control somehow
And I never lose my wallet
Because I
Will be the picture of discipline
Never fucking-up anything
And I'll be a good defensive driver

And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how
To see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be.

And in my mind
When I'm old I am beautiful,
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over

Not like me now
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older

And it's funny how I imagined
That I could be that person now
That that's not what I want
But that's what I wanted
That I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see
That I don't want to be the person that I want to be.

And in my mind
I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground

I'll start pounding the lid,
Saying, "I haven't finished yet,
I still have a tattoo to get,
It says, 'I'm living in the moment'".

And it's funny how I imagined
That I could win this win-less fight
Maybe it isn't all that funny
That I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny
If I want to live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all
To think I'll die before I actually
See
That I am exactly the person that I want to be.

Fuck yes.

I am exactly the person that I want to be. 


*az óráról még muszáj lesz dicskednem mert eszméletlen  klassz
 **igazából nem